something things...

should never be the subject of a classroom discussion. circumcision, strangely is on that list. as is the teacher's penis size. and the status of one's virginity. i know. are you as surprised as i am? who would ever be so delicate as to be offended and horrified by such LITE dinner convo? oh wait, ME. I'M THAT PERSON. IT'S NOT OK. NEVER. SO STOP ASKING.

though dear reader, i know that YOU would never ask me these questions, i have several FEMALE students who haven't learned the finer aspects of being human beings. "but its SOOO interesting" is not a viable excuse for this kind of abuse. school has been crazy of late, and the worst part is that that fiasco isn't even the worst. one day my kazakh students all made some sort of pact and only spoke to me in a language i don't know. i responded how you might think i would: wrath and indignation. full on hissy fit. in my defense, the only kazakh i know is rude and this was being directed at me with no remorse, so the pop quiz was justified. then when it got really rude and out of control, i don't think i was too out of line to demand they all go home and think about how rude they were being. they didn't move an inch. which was fine. i didn't either. we sat there for the last 30 minutes of class. oh wait, i did. they were never upset and just started talking about life and making fun of me again after about 47 seconds of shifty eyes.

now i feel guilty for losing my cool. but these kids know how little control i have. i can't write in their official journal and that makes me limper than a two day old dead fish. the few who know english love me and work, but so many of my students are too low leveled to take a class in english, and while i speak to them in russian, they have no desire to learn anything and that's why they don't know anything in the first place. c'est. la. vie.

oh and to top off my guilt there's some shame too. OF COURSE, the worst week of teaching i've EVER had had to happen when i had trainees there to watch. two girls who are currently training to be new university PCVs were to watch this all. i told them they'd see what school was like, but i never expected it to get so raw, as britt might say. it was fun having new people. but completely exhausting as well. and expensive. i blew so much money and wish i didn't have to. was i going to be the one person saying 'bye guys, i'm going finish that loaf of bread i have at home, have fun learning about teaching students with 4 vols who DON'T work with students.' blarg. no. granted, sipra and becca also chalked up the cash. but i'm feeling pouty.

my second sunday in a row was murdered. by not one, but two migraines. but i did get to talk to mah mama, so that revived me well enough. and i read a really good book with some interesting artwork.

i'll finish talking about that wedding one day. also, i'm hysterically jealous that my bestest friend Laura adopted/saved a dog today. named him Oli. painfully cute.

remind me to never get a dog. i'd love it too much and have even more excuses to be a bum and stay at home.

oh and let me end on a positive note. the other night i went out to buy some samsa because i have been to lazy to cook and it was excruciatingly pleasant. i was swarmed with memories of county fairs (of which i think i have been to at least once...), autumnal evening walks, and wishing i could be hand-in-hand with someone i love. it's that crisp, lively date weather that i love so well. soft brown highlights in the air, whispery trees, and olden golden street lights. people fade into the background and life comes alive. walking is a gift and i had as much as i wanted. striding around in shorts and a hoodie, too dim to stand out, bringing home a bounty of chicken filled pastries and raisiny cinnamon rolls. who could ask for anything more in life that night i just had? they should be politely slapped across their doofy faces and told to enjoy what's good for em. seeing that MIGHT have made the night better, but i'm too happy to care about might have beens.